There is hope!

First of all, I'd like to offer my thanks for the kind remarks as well as the gestures of support. It was / is quite a difficult thing for me to open the book and openly express my feelings and personal frustrations, however, I have found that so doing has made it possible for me to get the ball rolling.
Items to update...
Well...good news...This morning I plopped myself upon the weighing plate (commonly referred to as the scale) and felt an exuberant sigh of releif as I glanced at the reading. 298 lbs it read. I know, one can ask the question why is a guy so filled with glee to see that he wieghs in at a lofty 298? Well, it is easier to understand when one realizes that that same guy weighed in on the day after Christmas at 302 lbs. The thing that I can do now is draw the line in the sand, or better yet, erect a gargatuan concrete wall and essentially close the door on ever weighing it at three bills again. Next milestone is to break the 290 lb barrier, something that I haven't done for probably a year. I can attribute my recent 4 lb weight loss to feeling better about myself (a result of the replies I received to my first post) and making a simple lifestyle change or two (thanks Lori). I will continue to chart out my map to success and make weekly posts (Sunday) and report on the progress. I will likely take another photo and post measurements on a monthly basis.
After some serious consideration I have decided to etch my ultimate weight loss goal at 215 lbs. It represents a number that can actually be acheived, in fact, in 2001 I slimmed up to 218 lbs and I graduated high school weighing in at 205 lbs. That means I have to lose a total of 87 lbs with only 83 more to go.
Also, I am honing in on the event that I would like to participate in sometime this summer. An event that would require me to much more fit that I am today. One option is to go on a multi-day mountain biking trip like the ones offered by www.bikerpelli.com (see Kokopelli Trail, Vedauwoo Jack, or Ride the Divide (probably my favorite)). Another option is to enter a mountain bike race like one shown on www.intermountaincup.com/race . Option #3 would be to create my own mountain biking tour and have family and friends participate with me. Gary even mentioned some type of mini triathalon. I am soliciting input to see if anyone is interested in participating in any (or all) of these options.

Well, thanks again for the support. Seizure later.

Change the things that I can change!

An interesting discussion insued the other day between my sis-in-law (Lori) and I. The basis of discussion went like this: Lori asked me if I was wigged out because my age is much closer to 40 than it is to 30. (I believe that the underlying reason for her inquiry was based on her discomfort (wigging out) of recently turning 30.) My honest reply was that I don't get too worked up about getting older because there is not anything I can do to prevent aging. My adopted philosophy to this topic of concern (as well as others) is to change the things that I am empowered to change and relinquish concern for those things that are definite.

Immediately after those words (or words similar to those) came from my mouth, I wondered if I really fully subscribed to them. I hoped then, as I hope now, that I would be able to put full stock into that philosophy in order to realized that I am empowered to change a certain aspect of my life that I had more-or-less rendered as absolute and had diminished concern for. Really, this is a fancy way of saying that I am a fat guy that has given up any hope of ever being fit again. Anyway, back to the discussion with Lori; I have harbored a genuine fear for quite some time - A fear that has disturbingly became a recent reality. Much like the fear that Lori had of turning age 30, I have looked forward with much disdain and dread to the day that I climb aboard the bathroom scale and see the readout strain to display 300 lbs. On my way to gather up a baseball bat to pummel that freakin' scale (after all it is the scale's fault, isn't it?) I had to pass by the mirror. As I glanced at the mirror, of course, I saw me - the very person that bears the fault for my woeful condition. It became time to put the philosophy of 'changing the things that I can change' to the test.

What is the Plan? Well, it became obvious to me that I needed to establish some type of real and enduring motivation. Something more than some pie-in-the-sky dream of picking some arbitrary date to become the equivalent of some Greek God (I've tried that several times and found no avail). As I have pondered my previous behaviors and beliefs, I came to realize that I actually believed that I could secretly become fat without anyone knowing it. Isn't that strange? I mean - isn't that really freaking weird? Well, consider this: have you ever been simply living your life with full content and slipped into sudden despair when you see a picture of yourself. You may have even asked the question "Is that what I really look like?" Anyway the first step of my plan is to realize these two things: a) The scale is not a living entity that has the sole purpose of ruining my life - it's reading is really how much I weigh, and b) The mirror is not another living entity that has the sole purpose of ruining my life - it's reflection is what I really look like. Another step in my plan (step 2 to be exact) is to realize that it is okay to need help to accomplish goals, even sensitive goals such as losing weight and becoming fit. Step 2 basically stimulates the purposes for putting together this blog in the first place. My plan is to set fitness and weight loss goals, share those goals, accept and solicit encouragement, report successes and setbacks, and share true feelings throughout the process (I hope this does not result in a revocation of my "man" card). My plan is to provide frequent (probably weekly) posts that include an accounting of my weight and measurements as well as a photo (see below and don't be frightened). Agggggghhhhhh.

The third step, which admittedly is still somewhat under construction, is to seek out an event in the future that not only requires me to be in shape for but will produce a tremendous amount of satisfaction to participate in as well. It has been suggested that I sign up for a 1/2 marathon, a 10K, or something like that. As one that enjoys running as much as I enjoy a migraine, I'm not sure that running fits the bill. Anyway the jury will deliberate for a bit and soon make a final ruling.

Lastly, my wife and her sisters-in-law have planned a trip for all of us (husbands included) to go to Hawaii. I would rather partake of a dual root canal than be a fat guy that goes on vacation to Hawaii. I expressed this sentiment to my wife (Julie) and my sisters-in-law (Sarah, Lori, and, Adrien) and they ruffed me up a bit and basically declared "We love you just the way you are". Well, I love you gals too, but maybe I don't want you to love me just the way I am. I think it's time to say something more along the lines of "You don't have to be fat! You can do it! We know you can! Go Richy - Go Richy - Go Richy - Go!"

Aloha for now!