I believe that I have reached the milestone of being able to declare, without reservation, that the sun has finally set on the strange and random episodes of uncontrollable bodily functions associated with caffeine and sugar withdrawals. I am also confident that my brain processes are functioning as normal again. I really believe that along with turning my back on my old friend Mr. Pepper and abstaining from malicious foods, for some strange reason my mind was tricked into believing that I had to abstain from blog-writing, as well.
Two weeks ago I read through all of the previous posts to this blog and realized something that bothered me a bit. Every week I would forecast the things that I would need to do in order to improve my health. I found that many of the forecastings would simply not come to complete fruition. It kind of opened the door to a teensy weensy bit of frustration, a 'failure to perform', if you will. Therefore, following my recent pause in blogging , I have decided to actually do something first and blog about what I have done. This new approach actually increases my motivation and inspires me to have something to report.
So, what have I been doing for the past two weeks? Probably the most significant thing, with respect to health and fitness, is my new affiliation with Gold’s Gym (as of Feb 25th). I thought that merely joining a health club would automatically make a huge difference by instantly transforming me into an extraordinary specimen of good health, but I soon learned that I would have to actually attend the gym and ante up my sweat and pain as an offering to the fitness gods. Have you ever been in one of these places? The first thing I noticed is that the slim ratio of fat people to non-fats is a bit unnerving. My attention was soon affixed on the four or five dudes in the back corner working out together. Each of there bodies strongly resemble a 55 gallon drum, having a hat placed on the top, with two large railroad ties protruding from the side, and a couple of wobbly pool cues poking out from the bottom. As I watched these fellers cranking out bicep curls, using an atrocious amount of weight, my mind kept repeating the phrase; “Easy with all that weight, bro, you are going to snap those sticks you call legs!”
Well, my workouts have been going fine, all nine of them so far. The first two days kind of took my upper-body by storm. It took me twelve minutes to button my shirt in the dressing room; I had to actually lean against the lockers in order to push my right arm up high enough to reach my top button. Driving away from the gym was interesting, I couldn’t quite reach the ten-and-two positions and had to settle with the 5:58 and 6:02 spots. If I waned to turn right – I had to lean left, and vice versa. I also made an amazing anatomical discovery. There is some type of a robust connection between the lower abdomen and something in the back of the eye socket. This connection was manifested as I positioned myself in the ab-compressing contraption. With each crunch, I attest that my eyeballs expanded threefold and protruded from my head to the point that I thought I was going to have to gather them up from the floor, very, very, weird.
Here is an interesting question; Have I lost any weight as a result of my somewhat intense training (30 minutes of cardio, 30 minutes of strength – 9 times in the past 12 days)? Not only have I not lost any weight, I have actually gained 8 lbs. Whoever is playing this joke on me – hardy har har, knock it off, it ain't funny any more. Shortly after I stepped on the odious scale (298 lbs), in a rage of frustration, I was headed out the door with my sights set on the closest gas station. Can you say ‘Twix 4 to go’? How about ‘choc-o-late do-nut’. Then a voice came to my mind, as if it were sent from above “compare your current measurements with the December measurements’. Oh yeah...the December measurements! The measurements are posted, check them out. Muscle really does weigh more than fat!
The weight loss will come, I’m sure of it. I went in to this adventure looking for some long term health rewards, not necessarily a quick fix. I truly feel better already and my energy levels and general overall happiness has increased. Now let’s start shedding some freaking pounds, gosh dang it!
Two weeks ago I read through all of the previous posts to this blog and realized something that bothered me a bit. Every week I would forecast the things that I would need to do in order to improve my health. I found that many of the forecastings would simply not come to complete fruition. It kind of opened the door to a teensy weensy bit of frustration, a 'failure to perform', if you will. Therefore, following my recent pause in blogging , I have decided to actually do something first and blog about what I have done. This new approach actually increases my motivation and inspires me to have something to report.
So, what have I been doing for the past two weeks? Probably the most significant thing, with respect to health and fitness, is my new affiliation with Gold’s Gym (as of Feb 25th). I thought that merely joining a health club would automatically make a huge difference by instantly transforming me into an extraordinary specimen of good health, but I soon learned that I would have to actually attend the gym and ante up my sweat and pain as an offering to the fitness gods. Have you ever been in one of these places? The first thing I noticed is that the slim ratio of fat people to non-fats is a bit unnerving. My attention was soon affixed on the four or five dudes in the back corner working out together. Each of there bodies strongly resemble a 55 gallon drum, having a hat placed on the top, with two large railroad ties protruding from the side, and a couple of wobbly pool cues poking out from the bottom. As I watched these fellers cranking out bicep curls, using an atrocious amount of weight, my mind kept repeating the phrase; “Easy with all that weight, bro, you are going to snap those sticks you call legs!”
Well, my workouts have been going fine, all nine of them so far. The first two days kind of took my upper-body by storm. It took me twelve minutes to button my shirt in the dressing room; I had to actually lean against the lockers in order to push my right arm up high enough to reach my top button. Driving away from the gym was interesting, I couldn’t quite reach the ten-and-two positions and had to settle with the 5:58 and 6:02 spots. If I waned to turn right – I had to lean left, and vice versa. I also made an amazing anatomical discovery. There is some type of a robust connection between the lower abdomen and something in the back of the eye socket. This connection was manifested as I positioned myself in the ab-compressing contraption. With each crunch, I attest that my eyeballs expanded threefold and protruded from my head to the point that I thought I was going to have to gather them up from the floor, very, very, weird.
Here is an interesting question; Have I lost any weight as a result of my somewhat intense training (30 minutes of cardio, 30 minutes of strength – 9 times in the past 12 days)? Not only have I not lost any weight, I have actually gained 8 lbs. Whoever is playing this joke on me – hardy har har, knock it off, it ain't funny any more. Shortly after I stepped on the odious scale (298 lbs), in a rage of frustration, I was headed out the door with my sights set on the closest gas station. Can you say ‘Twix 4 to go’? How about ‘choc-o-late do-nut’. Then a voice came to my mind, as if it were sent from above “compare your current measurements with the December measurements’. Oh yeah...the December measurements! The measurements are posted, check them out. Muscle really does weigh more than fat!
The weight loss will come, I’m sure of it. I went in to this adventure looking for some long term health rewards, not necessarily a quick fix. I truly feel better already and my energy levels and general overall happiness has increased. Now let’s start shedding some freaking pounds, gosh dang it!
